finally, finally

There is nothing quite like driving north, alone, on an abandoned highway on the east side of Arizona in the middle of a desert at the first stirrings of November. Nothing quite like cracking open the windows and feeling the cool-tinged wind come whistling in, and knowing that no one knows where you are, exactly, and that if the car broke down right now you would have untold miles behind or in front of you to navigate for help. There is nothing quite like knowing the help you would find would be you. That after nearly two months on the road, driving your little silver Echo, you have come home to yourself in the best way, come to rely on your instincts and spontaneous wisdom, come to keep your own good company. There is nothing quite like leaning back in your seat and taking a bite of an apple you bought the day before on the ride out of Sedona, and that sweetness pixilating on your tongue, and how you know in this instant this is what freedom tastes like. There is nothing quite like the impossibly balanced boulders you pass to tell you this is the kind of life you’ve always dreamed of living, and that even if you have to go it alone you will be your own witness, and it won’t feel like alone at all. There is nothing quite like looking at the odometer that has been piling up the miles all these weeks and know that you have it in you to go even further, and how the glance at the mirror reveals eyes that are brighter than you remember, and a face you have finally, finally begun to love.