all poems and photographs
© by Maya Stein

all poems and photographs
© by Maya Stein
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Monday, June 05, 2006

any closer than this


























and you would know everything,
each flickering, inconsonant truth, the bumpy burlwood
of me, the deep and knotty reserves, the lines below
the lines. You'd know each agitated syllable,
every small, ruthless detail, the tinny cries I make in the night,
dreaming of a ludicrous escape from the bones of myself.
You'd know the imprecisions, the false starts, the swath
of stormy, sea-churning, furious rebellion,
the bitter, artless farewells, the way I never look back
at the wreckage. Any closer than this,
and you would know everything,
each stubborn, silly lie, each half-pursuit, each early exit,
every shadowy despair and disillusionment, the way
I can take my promises back for good.
Any closer than this…
But you are, aren’t you?
You are just steps away, not even, you are one step, not even,
one fingertip, I think, one single shuddery centimeter.
I can feel the paper-lightness of you, the slimmest graze of you,
a miniscule drop, a sly, unrepentant, liquid contact that hits me
at the solar plexus, dead center, something of you dead center of me,
and it feels impossible, it does, a collision like that,
in this tumbled, dizzy world, it feels impossible
you could get any closer than this. And yet you insist.
You insist.

9 comments:

Savannah said...

one single shuddery centimeter.

That was awesome.

C~ said...

Mmm...achingly true.

steph said...

i enjoyed that. thank you.

Goddess of Leonie said...

that is precious soul.

big time.

your writing always takes my breath away maya.

ridiculous love and guffawing laughter,
leonie

Faizal said...

nice blog you have ... feel better here ...

GailNHB said...

I'm always so happy when I come to your blog and read your wondrous words, Maya. "On telling the truth" is so beautifully written. Interestingly enough, I could relate to the man you danced with. Sometimes a single, sweaty dance is enough to reconnect with humanity, to feel life pulsing through someone else is life-affirming for me. He was courageous to say what he said, and you were courageous to hear him, internalize it as you did, and then move on.

The description of walking your dog was funny and deep at the same time. I thought, "If only, we staid and serious adults would get so caught up in our digging and adventures that we walked into each other. Tripped each other up and made each other see the world through which we move so absent-mindedly."

And your piece on getting closer - you are blessed to have someone who doesn't listen to your "no" and insists on getting to know you better, on loving you more deeply, and making sure that you are not alone on this life journey. May you be deeply loved forever.

Thanks again for your soulful revelations of yourself. Keep on writing, please... Gail

bluepaul said...

It's an orange!!!

GoGo said...

I stopped breathing after the third line. *smiles*

Wenda said...

My first visit here. What a delicious treat to find this entry. I'm still catching my breath.