all poems and photographs
© by Maya Stein

all poems and photographs
© by Maya Stein
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Sunday, January 22, 2006

Other Lies I've Told Myself






















I've said "I'm not afraid" and "I'll be here" and "Trust me."
I've said "You're pretty" and "I'm hungry" and "I'm yours."
I've said "Nothing is more important than this."
I've said "Believe me."
I've made my bed look like
an invitation, a beautiful distraction,
an irreverent sort of prayer.
I've said "This is the real thing."
I've said "Come here."
I've said "Don't go."
I've let him feed me strawberries, licked his forefinger clean.
I've said "You're crazy."
I've said "You're good."
I've said "I'll see you tomorrow."
And then afterwards, the sun gone done, the day over,
and something inside eviscerated, torn from the meat of itself,
I've looked at crawl spaces, imagined my body folded, tucked away,
out of sight and incalculably small, and said to myself
"No one will notice if I disappear."

6 comments:

snowsparkle said...

i identified deeply with this list... all the strength and passion of these proclamations and then the inelegant contradiction of our self. i love the reallness, the spontanaity of this piece. i'll notice if you disappear.

la vie en rose said...

so have I...

JUST ME said...

This is sincerely beautiful. I often wonder if I can make myself disappear.

Frankie said...

Beautiful. I love the ending so whole heartedly. I've done the same, but have yet to ever put it so elegantly.

pinkcoyote said...

"torn from the meat of itself". ouch! your words are so powerful. nuff said...

oh, except, thank you.

Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

The void would be large and noticeable if you disappeared.
You speak the songs of the heart that move me...
no emotion is bad, though sometimes painful.